


I'm just a notch in a bedpost, but you're just a line in a song.

by trashygrungekid



Series: my gay homestuck babies [1]
Category: Fall Out Boy, Homestuck, Music and Lyrics (2007)
Genre: Cheating, Eventual John Egbert/Dave Strider, Fall Out Boy Lyrics, Homestuck - Freeform, John Egbert/Dave Strider - Freeform, Lyric story, M/M, Minor John Egbert/Karkat Vantas, Poem Form, abusive childhood mention, davejohn - Freeform, fall out boy - Freeform, homosuck, johndave - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 13:16:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11945013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashygrungekid/pseuds/trashygrungekid
Summary: Your name is Dave Strider. And you are in love with John Egbert.-A very FOB inspired fanfic about John and Dave being in love and growing up emotionally and maturely together. A kinda slice of life with a little bit of hurt/comfort.





	I'm just a notch in a bedpost, but you're just a line in a song.

**Author's Note:**

> i originally wrote this for my creative writing class and so thats why theres no smut/really graphic stuff bc i wouldve gotten in trouble RIP. but enjoy and comment pls  
> also peep the fall out boy song lyrics

“Joke me something awful, just like kisses on the necks of best friends.”

Maybe it was the summer you fell in love with your best friend. The summer your brother bounced your head off the side of his bright orange pickup truck, half blood in your mouth, half teeth. The summer you had to start wearing those dumb sunglasses your brother gave you because the doctor told you if you kept subjecting your bright albino eyes to the sun, you’d soon go blind with how sensitive they are. The summer your best friend gave you those cool Ben Stiller shades after he saw how dumb your brother’s were, that you still wear to this day. 

Maybe it was the summer you looked at your best friend and thought ‘woah’ instead of an insult. The summer you felt your heart speed up when laying in bed with him, both of you on your respective gadgets (your lap-sized turntables you used to practice for the big boys and his stupid gameboy color). 

Maybe it was the summer you couldn’t wait to see him, wondering how the sun would look on those bright, blue ocean eyes.   
Maybe it was the summer you fell in love with your best friend, 

“You are a getaway car, a rush of blood to the head. But me, I’m just the covers on top of your bed.” 

The day you told him how you felt, you heard the breath get caught in his throat. You could’ve swore you heard his blood run cold. You were backstage after school, the smell of paint, wood and other previous arts and crafts projects used for props on set invading your senses. It was dark and musky and the air tasted like old water. And honestly, that’s how you felt. You knew you shouldn’t have told him, you knew you shouldn’t have even thought about how you felt. You’ve just now ruined a friendship and -suddenly you feel warmth. 

You feel his chest against yours, his hands swiftly ran down your arms, grabbing your hands. You couldn’t figure out if your heart was racing or stopped. Either way, you felt adrenaline. He spoke your name with such softness, so soft that it almost hurt, the way it cut deep into your skin. You knew what was next. The ‘I’m sorry but,’ speech. 

But you don’t get it. You get soft, warm lips on yours. You get static through your veins and a shiver down your spine. You get sweaty palms and shaky knees. You can’t believe this was happening.   
“Stop being so dumb. Of course I love you too. You’re my best friend and have been since I was 13.. How could I not fall in love with your dumb ass?” He smirked with that dumb but oddly cute half smile he always does to try and hide his 2 front teeth that he’s always so insecure about.   
Maybe it was the summer you began dating your best friend. 

“Your secrets out and the best part is it isn’t even a good one.”

You’re not sure why he won’t let you tell everyone. You wanna show him off so bad, you wanna let everyone know that he’s yours and always will be. But he doesn’t want his dad to find out. He doesn’t want his cousin to know. But you know his cousin, Jade, wouldn’t care. She’ll love him no matter what. And his dad’s pretty cool too, so what’s the problem? You already told your brother, which did nothing but him give you an entire bowl full of condoms, which you still aren’t sure how he has that many hidden in the house. Your lesbian sister didn’t care, obviously. She just told you to be careful. You still didn’t know what was the problem. 

“Ever since mom died, he's been so adamant on me having children. What am I supposed to tell him? ‘Oops sorry dad, I’m gay. No children for you!’.. That’s such a jerk thing to do!” He told you when you brought it up once day. 

“So you’re just gonna hide it forever just to pop out some kids for your dad..?” You raised a brow. He sighed. 

“No! Well...Ugh, fine. I’ll tell him tonight. And you can tell anyone you want. Big ol’ facebook post if you want, make it as sappy and as cute as your Texas Twang butt can.” He giggled, grabbing his backpack. “I gotta get to class, lunch is almost over.” 

You smirked and nodded, rolling your eyes at the nickname. “Got it, Señior Big Head.” He shook his head while laughing and jogged off, hoping to make it to his chem class on time.   
Maybe it was the summer you came out. 

“Take our tears, put ‘em on ice, ‘cause I swear I’ll burn this city down to show you the light.” 

It is finally the summer before your college years. You and John are out of high school and there's no more classes. You’re free to do whatever you want with John now. You can’t wait, you guys have been talking about where he wants to go to college (You don’t care what college you go to, as long as it has a music, writing or art program. So you just decided to go wherever he’s going.) Everything was going great. Exceptional, even. But every story arch has to have a problem right?   
Your problem was John’s drinking. It started his freshman year, when he just first started to drink. At first, it was nothing. Just normal teenage rebellion, sitting up in your attic with a few wine coolers, just enough to get that warm fuzzy feeling in your chest and the numbness in your legs. But it got deeper. By senior year he was drinking a 5th of whiskey a week. You hated whiskey in particular. It was always your brother’s drink of choice. The smell itself was enough to make you sick. But you didn’t think anything of it. John was still John. John was still the John you were in love with, even if he was tipsy every night. 

But the drinking was too much. He reminded you way too much of your brother when drunk. (Your eldest, Broderek. Bro for short.) The way he’d climb into bed and cling onto you, his breath smelling like his old Distiller’s Pride, his head lolling from side to side, his big hands on your hips. It was all too much and brought up memories you didn’t wanna remember. You and drinking did not have a fun past together. Especially involving the people you loved. Or wanted to love, in your brother’s case. And you tried to bring this up to John and each and every time he’d promise to chill out a bit. But each and every time, you were disappointed.   
Maybe it was the summer before college. 

“Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman..And maybe he won't find out what I know: You were the last good thing about this part of town..”

The breakup came in the middle of your college career. You and John had been going to St. Louis for college for about 2 years now, and everything had seemed a bit shaky the following months. John was drinking more than he had ever, he was failing class after class while you were at the top of yours. You knew it was going to come to an end, you just didn’t know how bad it was going to be. 

You had found another man in the bed you shared with him. You believe his name was Karkat, you couldn’t remember. Something Greek like that. He was a friend from you and John’s study group, a short, angry dude with a foul mouth. You had felt a bit jealous towards him since John always seemed to be over at his dorm, “studying.” but you didn’t think much of it. By now, you had found your own little addiction to piss off John. Just like you hated his drinking, he hated how much you smoked. You went through at least a pack a day, if it was a good day. John hated the smell and the taste of it on your lips and you knew he did. 

The day it happened, you met eyes with John while Karkat was on his lap, pressing kisses to his neck. The same way you used to do back when you guys were teenagers. You felt that familiar lurch in your heart as you saw his bright blue eyes, ones that you used to think about constantly, but these days you just saw them as what they simply were - blue eyes. You couldn’t cry. No, you knew something like this would happen. But it did hurt. 

You grabbed your duffel bag and started to pack clothes as Karkat ran past you, mumbling a “I’m so sorry dude,” as he made his way out of your dorm, the same dorm you decorated with the boy you fell in love with. You heard John’s footsteps. 

“I’m so sorry.” Was all he said. You heard the sincerity in his voice but you just couldn’t bring yourself to care. “Dave, please. Talk to me. I swear, that was the first and only time we even came close. Everything before was just flirting. Please believe me..” He said in his small voice. You shrugged. That night you sat in The Hole the entire night, smoking pack after pack while on your phone. The hard concrete on your thighs and the coolness of the air being just the sting you needed for your mood. You eventually made your way back up to the dorm where he sat there waiting for you, wearing one of your shirts.

 

“And I love the way you hurt me, it’s irresistible.” 

That night, you sat on the floor with him and cried. You sobbed as you sat in his lap, his arms around you. You guys stayed like that all night, until you both decided to go on a walk and talk. You guys stopped by the side of the greenhouse by the dorms, leaning against the fence around it, in the alley. You sniffed, wiping your nose for the billionth time that night. “...So why’d you do it?” You started. You knew you didn’t want the answer. But you were so dead right now, you wanted to feel something. You wanted to feel that lurch in your heart. 

“Dave...I just… We haven’t been the same. Not since we were kids. I still love you, and always will and I wanna be with you. But you act like you’re a living zombie half the time. You wake up, smoke, go to class, come home, smoke and sleep.” He says, the sentence stopping you from reaching for your smokes. 

“Can you really blame me? You’re half buzzed 24/7. It’s like you’re not even happy being with me unless you’ve got booze in your system.” You say, your jaw clenching. 

He sighs. “Okay..I wanna keep you. I wanna be with you forever. You’re my best friend.” He says and you nod. “We gotta work on ourselves. You gotta go to therapy. What your brother did to you growing up was horrible. The abuse, all forms of it, really messed you up. And I’m sorry my drinking reminds you of it. I just.. I just like to escape.” He runs a hand through your bright blond hair, moving it away from your eyes. You don’t have the shades John gave you all those years, on since it’s so dark. But you nod. Everything’s gonna be okay. 

“We’re gonna work on us. We gotta.” He says. 

And with that, the night ends.


End file.
